Worthy,
Reading over your responses I think you're being quick to judge him on his past - obviously he is trying to better his life and going to NA meetings. I'm not trying to be mean on this but please read what I have to write. I used to be in gymnastics for years and years, not once did I hear "oh, you're tired? It's ok.. we'll skip out on this one". It was "I don't care if you're tired, this is how you do it and that's how you are going to do it". Whether we had sprained ankles, wrists...etc, we still had to do what we were there for.
She's not a baby anymore mom, whether you want to believe it or not she is begining the transition into woman-hood and small tastes of reality like the teacher had done to your daughter is exactly what she needs. Ie: if she showed up for school and said she was too tired to do her homework, do you imagine that teacher would say oh thats fine ? No.. she would be penalized for it.