Suffering, need to vent.
Hello. I posted on the friends and family section as my hubby is abusing legally prescribed drugs.
I am on the verge of tears. I am in recovery myself, lost my mother to alcoholism when I was 16(she was 45, drank herself to death), and dad remarried a few years later and went off with that family. So, Ive been pretty much alone since then, from my immediate family.
I have been with my husband since 1991, many relapses and chaotic years later, I have found it not necessary to use since 2003.
I am trying to save my husband and losing myself in the process. I am so sad because he is my best friend and I love him, and I have to make tough choice that will devastate us. I am crushed, and he is high, and is a very functioning addict, works, cleans, cooks, but is always messed up on ritalin.
I know he is ill, and I am also. But it's tough to handle all of this with a 14 year old girl witnessing all the chaos.
My caretaking, enabling, smoothing over and denial capabilities are taking over. I am so good at my role, and I hate myself for it.
Perhaps, I see him as my mom? Who knows..but addiction aside, he has
loved me unconditionally more than my immediate family ever has. My husband is my biggest fan.
Again, I know what the answers are, I just need some kind words and support.
Thanks!