Hi summer. I've been where you are now, many years ago. It's a desperate feeling - trying to help and protect the person. I was so good at being an enabler - didn't know I was doing all the wrong things. I never knew about Al-Anon back then, & I think it might've made all the difference to my husband & I. We had a tragic ending, since I could not go down with the ship and he never acknowledged what he was doing to himself and us.
I hope you find relief and help with your situation. Let us know how it's going.