welcome to sr. sorry about your father and about your husband. you have come to a great place with lots of experience, strength and hope. i lost my father and brother to alcoholism, but i've been sober for a few yrs so there is hope.
my husband is in active addiction and i had to finally separate myself from him and his addiction so as to regain some sanity. there is not much you can do to help your husband, he have to want to help himself but you can began to focus more on you and your kids. read all you can read, post as much as you need to. search your area for a few alanon and naranon f2f support groups for family and friends and began attending for yourself. i'll keep you and your family in my prayers.