Can anyone relate?
I haven't been here in a long time and I think some of
you may not have liked me, but things have gotten
worse I guess to be expected. I've been living with an
addict for over 12 years. he is very sick and I think he's
dying. He got major skin graph surgeries in 2007 when
the hospital skinned him alive and said they were
trying to save him from loosing his limbs to flesh eating
disease. I had left him at the time to go back home
across country as I couldn't stand the hell anymore. He
had been sick for a year with boils that the doctors just
didn't do anything about.
I've been living with him and taking care of him for 2
years as he can't walk to well, can't clean up after
himself and is in suffering contstant agony. he won't got
to doctors, he says they can't do anything and that he
tried getting treatment when i was away, he ended up
being released fromt he hospital with no home and
ended up in a shelter. The treatments including IV
antibiotics didn't work and he gave up, as they told him
the infection was in his blood. independent. I tried
getting him once to plastic surgeon and they wanted to
start him on wound care but he didn't want to. he has
open wounds that won't heal. The only thing that
relieves his pain is crack, and he needs it daily. I cannot see him go throught his pain. He says doctors won't give him pain killers as he's on methadone. It's true doctors don't understand that people on methadone when very sick and in chronic pain don't get relief from methadone. he says he can't go to doctors and he can't unless I take him and when I offer to he says no. He won't let me call an ambulance or even say ambulance as that's how he got the surgeries forced upon him in the first place, when I was away across country. I came back within 3 months and never should have left, as it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't left him.
I get mad at myself becuase he is financially draining me and I'm in debt and he won't go get help or get his disability, I have to advocate for him obviusly. Everyone thinks I'm being used but no one understand he's dying and is is so much pain. I left once and he almost died and is now doomed to suffer from the surgeries, as much as I daily want to run away from ther misery, being woken up for money in the middle of the night and the stress, I know he has no family and no other support. I keep denying he is sick thinking that if he stops drugs and goes to doctors he can be helped but he doesn't think so. And now I'm starting to think it's hopeless. I'm calling social services and get no help, he has to go to a doctor and only i can make decisions for me I can't force medical care on him. So I come here to write and people here think I'm a horrible enabler but they don't live with someone in chronic pain who is dying. Just thought I'd try again. I feel so bad when I get mad at him, I am too selfish because when people are sick like that you need to be patient. I've tried most of the time to be nice and just find the money to pay for his pain relief and that it barely works anymore