Sorry all for my post - you all must get v bored of me and my repetitive behaviour. I wasnt sure if i should post at all really.
I think i have reached an all time low this time. I joined smart recocvery website and i am trying to log into to their meeting chat thing and have downloaded the information. i get so cross with myself and think - why cant i do this like i did before. I have been trying again and again. Reading books and on the forum.
I dont think it helps living with someone who likes to drink and who cant understand my issues with it. He says why cant you just control yourself - i tried to explain my problem he doesnt get it. Thinks that I have not set my boundaries. I dont mean to get really drunk - i dont think i have any realisation once i have had a drink of when to stop till it has gone. I dont really do anything bad either. The only problems he sees with it as I tend to drink his share.
He is working away from next week so that will help me. I am not sure whether reading so much about all this helps or just brings up the thought of drinking / not drink dilemma more. Maybe I should just stop reading so much, stop drinking and just get on with it.