It was really hard for me to let my sisters live their own life, even when I could clearly see that they were heading in very dangerous directions.
You are not a fool. It is not foolish to try to help. We all commit the crime of hope. Try not to compound the "clean pain" of being sad about your sister's choices with the "dirty pain" of made-up scenarios where you should be able to save her from herself.
Clean pain = "I love her and want her to get better, but she is not choosing that, and so I am deeply saddened by that."
Dirty pain = "I should've been able to say or do something differently, and then magically she would be better. I am a failure. It's my fault."
Staying in the clean pain is still hard, but not nearly as hard as dirty pain. We are not gods and goddesses, who can control the path of another.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It was misery to go through this myself with my two older sisters...but there is life beyond it.
Hugs and strength to you to live your own life, and let your sister live hers, sad as it may seem to you.
