Hi Kirbe.... Welcome.... no matter where you post on SR, know that you are cared for and we understand. My father in-law is a functioning alcoholic. I know what it is like to be around someone who you regard as strong, smart and functioning who also drinks/drugs and is next to impossible to be around. Take care of you. Come here, the other boards, to Al-anon or where ever you need, but keep reaching out and moving forward.