Definately here to join you.
I'm an older mom too and I have a 16 month old little boy as well as a 6 year old daughter. When I'm sober I do have joy, just like you said. You notice the lake more, you like to walk the dog, etc.
As to skirting the issue with my husband, ChrisinAustin... I've told him I'm worried about myself and that I'm an alcoholic, etc., but he thinks I'm just overreacting. A conversation where he's trying to convince me I'm fine won't help him or me. I don't want to waste my energy on a arguement so silly - again. I'm not going to be deceitful. I really do need to go on a diet! We actually we're just talking about it yesterday that we both should together. I'm just doing it now... mainly to stop the alcohol, however, I could also stop the cheesecake too!