For me recovery and finding spirituality was always about reconnecting with my true self. I think other people call that higher power.
It is about shedding the social "shoulds" and beginning to really listen to what you truly want. For me, this does not mean listening to AA "shoulds" or other religious "shoulds" because that is just shifting allegiances, not actually making a new and strong spiritual connection. The unfortunate thing about HP stuff is it is not always on your timeline; it is on its own. And a lot of the work is about quieting down and listening to yourself. You can't rush it. Getting through all 12 steps in a month won't necessarily make the magic appear. So I guess my point is that while the AA advice might say that a great job is not important if your personal life is in shambles, this doesn't mean anything unless it is really true for you, deep down in your heart. The work is trying to be still enough and casting off all the baggage and wreckage of your using years to be able to listen and hear what your true self wants and needs. It will guide you in the right direction. In the meantime you should do what you need to provide for your family. But if you are surviving now and your wife wants you with her, I would just relax and give it a little more time, surrender, and shift your focus to your recovery.