Hi Mellane! Welcome to SR.
Do you have any involvement with Al-Anon? I think that would be a great place to start. It's free and you can find lots of support there.
I know it's rough that he is gone but it's blessing at the same time. It gives you a chance to work on yourself.
Sorry, this is a hard time for you. Keep coming here. You will lots of support here for sure.
(((HUGS)))