Why does your kindness make me cry? Why do I want to call him and apologize or rage back at him? I did leave him with a huge mess. I was going to stay and try to work on things, but I was immobilized in that house. Literally. Even when I go back to get some things, I can't think or do anything.
There is nothing I can say to him, nothing will make a difference. He hates me. I'm lucky to not be living with him. Once, in March after he went out to see that W**** and apologized to her for sending a letter saying he was working on his marriage to me and she should stop trying to contact her, I was crying in the bed and he came in and said he would kill me if I didn't stop crying.
Oh that's right. I talked to him today on the phone and told him that I met a woman who worked at the bar both he and his affair partner frequented. I asked if she knew the skank and she said they call her "The W**** there because she has slept with so many of the waitresses boyfriends.
When I told him this he was livid. Said all kinds of crazy stuff to me, like "if you're going out meeting guys just don't bother talking to me," and you better stop talking about me." I told him I didn't even mention him, just asked about his affair partner and he was furious.
That's why he's raging at me about this stuff. His girlfriend, the love of his life is a w****.
I just feel sick. I shouldn't have told him that today, I keep forgetting he's not my friend. I shouldn't be talking to him.