That is a really tough decision. I myself am the addict. And had the biggest enabler ever.
It hurt me in so many ways. I had it good. Had a home to come flop my butt in when I got tired of being out there. Food to eat and every way to get out of any situation as long as my gram had anything to do with it.
Although it is that same enabling that probably kept me from dieing in the street. And the unconditional love that kept me trying.
I wish she would have left me to stew in my own misery a long time ago.
I would have had a serious dose of reality and possibly would have gotten my act together sooner.
Once left on our own with no one to get us out of our own messes. We can feel the consequences. As long as someone is always bailing us out. There are no consequences.
We have a family and friends section here. You may find alot of info and others there who can help you with alot of your questions. Post where you like. It is not a big deal. But that would be ideal for your situation. Here is a link.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I cant say what you should or shouldnt do.
All I can do is share my own experience and thoughts on my own situation.
Good luck and I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. And Hopefully you and your husband can find some peace.