biravatch65 I have been through the gates of hell, a group of sober alcoholics came by, I held my hand out to them for help and they took me by my hand and told me to follow the path they had followed.
These folks knew the way out from the hell I was in, they had been there before and they to were led out.
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than our-selves could restore us to sanity.
These sober alcoholics as they led me along that path helped me to find and believe in a Power greater then myself. This Power that I found, a Power of my choice and understanding restored my sanity after I did the needed work to help Him do so.
I lived the insanity you speak of, there was more then once that my actions and thinking led me to conclude that I must be nuts, because a sane person would not do or think like I did.
biravatch please speak to the VA doctor about this.