I don't question that anymore, I know I'm a 'crazy alcoholic'. I just want to add "recovering" from now on. Forgive me, I didn't mean to make light of your situation, but was hoping to maybe get a smile. Sense of humor helped me a lot. Joking aside though, drinking yourself to death is not an easy way out. It might seem that way when you are passed out, but the reality is totally different.
I know I need to reflect and make peace with myself and my torment. I'm hoping SR will help us with what seems an impossible objective.