Depends on my perception of the quality of the alcoholic's relationship.
The directions from the Big Book are clear about our role as recovered alcoholics in advising on another's relationships. 'Is it selfish or not?' God is the final arbiter. I can say that without exception, when I've followed that rule in relationships, even when I really don't want to, the outcome has been all right. Better than I could have imagined in many cases.
That said, I try to live by spiritual principles in all areas of my life. It's very easy to utilize the principles when it comes to alcohol. Get me worried about money, the girl, my son, my future, and it's a whole lot harder to walk to walk. Easy to be a holy man on a mountain top.
The only advice I could give, or probably need to hear, is that a relationship governed by spiritual principles is bound to be gratifying and fulfilling. I didn't know what love was until I recovered. I thought I knew, but it took a fundamental change in my heart before I could feel that.
Love is an action. It's a verb. It's not some mysterious force that comes over me with the right person in the room. It's the actions I take with that person.
So the only real question I have to ask is one I can ask myself and my God. 'Can I love?' Can I do it without conditions and performance expectations? Can I do for another with little concern for myself?
Funny thing is, I do this and I get all the benefit. I (insert action verb) love and get the reward of loving another. It's beautiful, really.
How is somebody going to give me advice on how to do that? Alcoholic or not, how can someone show me that? All they can do is point me in the direction of the spiritual principles so that I may have my own experience with that action. Just like every other bit of advice on every other subject.
I do however, when I get some great idea about relationships, run it by somebody I trust who has a quality relationship.