Originally Posted by
Wolf00 
But just this Gorilla on my back with all drugs and alcohol and really doesnt matter what it is.
Exactly.
It's almost as if you're doing everything substance out there desperately trying to find one that will give you the feeling that none of them can. In the end, it's never about the drugs or alcohol, but the particular hole inside we're cursed with, and the endless, hopeless measures we'll take to try and fill it. It's about deep, deep down, not really feeling like the life of the party at all.
If you want to quit, you can, and you can fill the hole too.