I don't mind that the conversation has drifted. This is the first time I have ever been able to discuss this with people willing to respond and it is very helpful.
Two of my sponsors told me that you work steps 4 to 12. I do not see how the first three can be "worked" as they are written, so it made sense to me when they said that they were the ones that were "given."
People at meetings scare the heck out of me. The piercings, tattoos, promiscuity make me uncomfortable. This may be too big of a stumbling block. I do not know how much I would ever trust someone I met at a meeting.
AA is better, but because I never had a problem with alcohol I usually just listen at AA meetings.
Sorry to ramble, but this is making me sort out a lot of feelings about 12-step programs. I never had the chance to talk to anyone who knew them firsthand who actually answered back with reasoned responses.