Wow, it's nice to read so many posts by so many people getting on with their sober lives. Inspirational...
I guess this is still my first 24hour of sobriety, can't even remember when I took the last shot. I thank everyone who was there with me last night, that was the roughest night I've been through in a long, long time. Everything kept going wrong, and I wasn't in any shape to deal with any of it.
And because of my state of mind, I forgot to do several things that only made it all worse. Especially eating. I was running on empty the whole time, forgot all about eating--which probably contributed to my sleep deprivation and slightly insane state of mind. That's probably one of the worst things about sobering up alone, in my opinion. Even if I don't want to do the basic things, I have to do them myself.
So now, I am forcing down some succotash I don't want, and drowning it in non-alcoholic water, which tastes so refreshing. My hands are shaking so bad everything keeps falling off the spoon. I finally did get some sleep last night, but not much. Had a board meeting and the publicity person suggested I go home and to sleep. After we adjourned, I decided to do that.
I feel really bad about missing a whole day of school, and I missed Thursday because of drinking. But I need to take care of myself right now, not everything else. When I'm better, I can do all those other things in half the time and a tenth of the mental energy required. That's my commitment to myself, today.
Take care y'all, keep up the good work.
-TB, curling up in a blanket.