Daisy30,
I am also going through the divorce question. My lawyer says file, I say, I'm not sure it is the right thing to do. My therapist said that after I have finally expressed my feelings of hurt and anger to my AH, then I will know what to do. In the meantime, I stand with one foot in and one foot out. My husband on some days is the guy I used to know, and others he is someone I don't recognize. Luckily, I still feel like I know myself...and if you know who you are and who you want to become on your own, then whether you divorce or stay legally separated, your path should slowly become clear to you.
You are not alone.