Originally Posted by
dothi 
These people have an amazing capacity to not acknowledge your pain or discomfort. That doesn't mean these feelings aren't there.
This is so true.
My therapist also pointed this out to me. By going no contact with my family of origin, I have just acted out in the most amazing way, totally out of character for me. I was consumed with my own pain and discomfort. My mother and my brother "could" have chosen to break my boundaries and reach out with love, care and understanding. However, I KNOW these people, my mother will be clutching her broken heart, how could her daughter do this to her. She will be putting me down to her friends, my daughter is mentally ill, she isn't coping well with her son's Autism diagnosis. My brother will just be bitter, here is someone else who has abandonned him. So they are both refusing to acknowledge my pain, choosing instead to feel sorry for themselves.
I have been looking at myself and wondering if I am just as self-centred. However, I seem to be the exact opposite though, in order for the dysfunctional relationship to work I guess. I have learnt not to express my own pain BUT I am HYPER-sensitive to pain in others and run around like a headless chicken trying to FIX the pain. I remained this way until my own pain became too much to bear and I fled. I also didn't like the person I was turning into, I was starting to experience bitterness and resentment and I didn't like it.
Another little bit of insight and awareness, IWTHxxx