alky and opiates are euphoric, steve. but devastating when you wake up and/or come down. i did the same and added xanax to the mix. it ain't worth it. i wasted too much time thinking i didn't have a problem and not enough time fixing the problem- the why of why i abused those pks. i remember i flushed down 23 tablets of amphetamine and crying until i dropped four vicodins down the hatch-that's what i did when i felt sad and lonely- drugs. you don't have to. you have a problem and you know you do. great, now comes the hard part of living a life without the drugs. prepare to be puzzled, frustrated, surprised to have money in your pocket and be prepared to be extremely hard on yourself and bored. But be prepared to get smacked in the face with the reality that life is good-even if it is a minute a time. Good luck my man