I just love all of the responces, Your ESH means so much to me.
I will definately look up shame in my al-anon lit. I wonder if that isn't part of it for me.
I will also look into the Joyce Meyer tapes. I was just having a conversation about her the other day with an al-anon friend
I do better when I think about it like this, We can always get re-married later on if he finishes treatment, stays in recovery, and we are able to work through our issues.
Part of me regrets that I didn't put more thought into my wedding vows to begin with. I heard something today on the radio that said "Sometimes you meet/date a guy that is great and you have a good time together, but that doesn't mean it is a good relationship for a marriage". I really had to think about that one.
As I am sitting here thinking, If we stay married, what would that look like? I know that I would not move back in with him. It is not a healthy place for me and/or the kids. It would be a good year or two of hard work before we could live under the same roof. That would be the best case scenerio, right. In another scene his addiction could live on. and We would not ever get a chance to work on our issues. It feels really selfish to say that I don't want to waste any more time on this.
How is it possible that when I went through this with my older dd father (almost 12 years ago) that it was so much easier for me. So much more cut and dry? Was it b/c there was physical abuse? Was b/c we weren't married? Sometimes I wish I could talk to the girl I was then
Maybe my problem is that I am trying to make a decision today and predict the outcome of tomorrow. I need to stay in today.....