I'm glad you still like to laugh!
I have thought more about your reservations to petition for divorce. I too had reservations because divorcing my AH was not my first experience with divorce.
I needed to examine my fear of divorce. For me, the fear was really about shame. I was considering staying in a miserable marriage with an active alcoholic because of the shame of another marriage ending in divorce.
I had an underlying fear of not being accepted by others.
The shame of not being accepted almost kept me in an alcoholic marriage and almost kept me in isolation after I began to take steps to end the marriage.
Look into your Alanon literature, and search here at SR. Look up shame.
Feelings of shame are part of our recovery. When we are aware of them, and accept them, then we can begin to take healthy actions in recovering through them.