Awwww Abs.. I'm so sorry this has triggered you.
This is what it is... a trigger response.
Just as you said above... he is your DOC and any triggers associated with him need to be recognized and worked through.
Like you said to me, you are still grieving and this response you are having is normal.
BREATHE, JUST BREATHE. This too shall pass.
What would anyone is recovery do when experiencing a trigger? Reach out, get support, don't be alone, reach out some more, talk about it with your sponsor (if you have one), keep busy, etc., etc.
As you know... we're always here for ya.
