Originally Posted by
03fifteen 
they would think I'm crazy. I never even told them about the one time I saw the school therapist. They asked and I lied and said i went to her with my friend. I was afraid to tell them. And i feel guilty about it. I kinda feel like wanting to see a counselor is like disrespecting my parents.
I hear what you're saying, 03fifteen. When I mentioned that I wanted to see a counsellor in high school, I got a lot of, "what did we do so wrong?" I got a lot of blame (for not sucking it up AND for not giving them enough credit), guilt (told I didn't appreciate them), and denial (it wasn't that bad).
Have you ever heard of toxic guilt, 03fifteen? You know it's toxic because it usually happens when you're trying to do something good for yourself.
When I mentioned a counsellor, my AF took it personally, and refused to pick me up or drop me off for appointments. He told the whole family that counsellors just put ideas into your head and make you worse. I was very lucky that I got to go to university (this was something AF approved) and access services there. I have never mentioned this to my parents because it is my private business. Sure, sometimes I talked about them, but often I talked about a lot of other stuff too.
It's very important to understand that respecting your parents doesn't mean you have to tell them everything 100% As you've probably already read here on this forum, healthy relationships involve healthy boundaries (not immeshment). You are allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings without having to explain them.
Last edited by dothi; 09-16-2009 at 09:21 AM.