Hi Terrif, welcome to SR. Perhaps you could use some counseling on your image issues as well as working on sobriety, I know that's what I needed. I also found the longer I was sober the better I felt about myself, that took working my version of the 12 steps. You've got to "take off your old self and put on your new self" and that takes a lot of work and a lot of time but it is so very rewarding.