Oh Taz, I know exactly what you're saying. I still have plenty of moments of overwhelming anxiety, dread, fear, sadness, all of it. I certainly am not cured by any means.
What I'm trying to do right now is stockpile. Meaning that if I fill myself up with enough good things such as basic needs, spiritual needs, emotional support, etc., then when the bad things come along maybe they won't devastate me as much as they used to. That's what my hope is, anyway.
I totally understand "progress not perfection." Because I will never be perfect. But I want the happiness and peace that I see on other faces in those rooms and am willing to change and take steps to get them.
I'm glad you wrote--thanks.