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Twelfth Step

Old 09-10-2009, 04:05 AM
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Twelfth Step

Amazing meeting last night. There was something special in the room, and it was almost tangible.

The speaker was wonderful, an older man who spoke about the twelfth step, helping others, and he became teary on a couple of occasions. He shared how much it has helped him to carry the message and see the spiritual awakening in others and then have them carry it on to somebody else.

He inspired me to share as well. I told him I had been going to meetings and staying on the fringes, thinking about a sponsor but not fully embracing it. However, after listening to him, I became ready and even excited to start working and receive the gifts that were waiting for me.

I approached this man after the meeting and talked with him for a while, letting him know how much he had affected me. It turns out that we live in the very same neighborhood, and he was the same man a friend had suggested I look to for a ride to meetings every now and then.

Afterwards, I called somebody and asked them to be my sponsor. We are both going to pray on it, but I think it is going to work out. The program seems so powerful when it is working in people. I want some of that for myself.
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Old 09-10-2009, 05:23 AM
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Thanks, Cath. Great story! Glad to see you taking steps toward a healthier future.
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:22 AM
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Awesome post Cath, keep up the momentum, but please keep in mind as you go along, that it took time for us to get to our bottoms and it also takes time to dig our way out.

Trust me, I wanted to have the serenity and peace that folks with 20years sober had in a month!!!! LOL I have found it takes time and it takes work, but the time and work is well worth it, mentally, physically, & spiritually I am far further then I ever dreamed I would be, yet I also have a long ways to go and learning and accepting that it is spiritual progress we strive for daily and not perfection lets me know that as long as I am moving in the right direction things will continue to get better.

I want some of that for myself.
As I have heard many an old timer share "Want what we have? Do what what we do." Glad to hear you are working on a sponsor, for me getting a sponsor and taking the steps with him was key to beginning long term sobriety and regaining my sanity.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:04 AM
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Oh Taz, I know exactly what you're saying. I still have plenty of moments of overwhelming anxiety, dread, fear, sadness, all of it. I certainly am not cured by any means.

What I'm trying to do right now is stockpile. Meaning that if I fill myself up with enough good things such as basic needs, spiritual needs, emotional support, etc., then when the bad things come along maybe they won't devastate me as much as they used to. That's what my hope is, anyway.

I totally understand "progress not perfection." Because I will never be perfect. But I want the happiness and peace that I see on other faces in those rooms and am willing to change and take steps to get them.

I'm glad you wrote--thanks.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:15 AM
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I just went to my first meeting on monday, and have been going daily since. Thanks for sharing. It has lifted me, and will help me thru my day, and keep me going to more meetings. THANKS
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Old 09-10-2009, 08:59 PM
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Cath,
Thanks 4 sharing, great post.
I'm truly happy 4 U.
Now, take care of those basic needs...did U eat well today?
Stay strong.
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Old 09-11-2009, 03:40 AM
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Thanks. My word of the week has been "stockpile." Meaning that I want to fill myself up with all the good things: basic needs, spiritual needs, emotional support, etc. That way, when the bad things happen, maybe I will be better equipped to deal with them since I will have a good foundation. That's my plan anyway.

One week sober yesterday. Feels great!

ETA: Whoops, I already said all this in an earlier post. Sorry. I need to remember to take baby steps and not run the whole race at once. Because I might miss seeing everything on the path along the way. It just seems like once I opened my heart to HP and let go, everything good started rushing in.
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Old 09-11-2009, 03:56 AM
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Awesome Cath, thanks for the share.
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Old 09-11-2009, 04:53 AM
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But I want the happiness and peace that I see on other faces in those rooms and am willing to change and take steps to get them.
Stay WILLING, it will come if you work for it, keep in mind as it says in the 10th step promises, it will come, for some quickly, for other slowly, but IT WILL COME to all who work for it!

Cath you had me choked up as I read your post, I have walked in your shoes hon, I followed the path of those before and I have found peace and serenity as well as freedom from my alcoholism and self..... all of this is granted daily contingent upon me being spiritualy fit that day. Cath let the folks (Ladies) in the rooms take you by the hand and together walk the path.
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Old 09-11-2009, 05:00 AM
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That's a great post and a huuuuge step forward for you to have a happy, peaceful and contented life! I have got a sponsor and been working through the steps, whilst attending meetings also, and going for coffees etc! It really is amazing and i could not be more grateful to be feeling and living like this for the first time ever! Keep going and don't doubt AA for a second, let everyone else try the other stuff:-)
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Old 09-11-2009, 05:13 AM
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Sometimes it feels like so much is rushing in and things are going so fast that it scares me a little. But it feels more real to me than anything else I've ever felt in my life. I need to remember that HP is driving me on this journey, and all I have to do is kick back on the passenger's side, open up the window and let the sun and breeze in and enjoy the ride. Wow, that's a visual I think I'm going to carry with me the rest of the day.
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Old 09-11-2009, 05:39 AM
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Sometimes it feels like so much is rushing in and things are going so fast that it scares me a little.
I refer to that as stepping out of my confort zone, I have found that it is important to recovery to do that, my old comfort zones were not in line with sobriety, I had to step out of them and yes, it was scary/uncomfortable.

I need to remember that HP is driving me on this journey, and all I have to do is kick back on the passenger's side, open up the window and let the sun and breeze in and enjoy the ride.
Good deal, just keep in mind that your HP can move mountains, but if you need one moved for you, you need to bring a shovel to help him/her help you.

The best analogy I ever heard was "I do the rowing and my HP steers the boat."
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:48 AM
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((Cath))
Congratulations on your sober time...
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Old 09-11-2009, 09:24 AM
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Thank you (bowing--lol).

I officially have a sponsor now. I'm excited and can't wait to start. She seems like the coolest, calm, most centered lady ever.
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