Welcome back Nettaja, I can relate to your story very well. My binging & the effects it had on me just got worse & worse over time. I cant have a few, its all or nothing & all is too much for me now.
Dont think that things are ok for your body because you take a break. Binging is very tough on your system because of the shock factor.
You soon know who your true friends are & who your drinking buddies are once you start sharing that you are giving up the drink. I hope you find a path that works for you.
All of the best,
NB