Binging and Purging
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Abroad
Posts: 49
Binging and Purging
Last time I posted here was four years ago, then I was doing around three bottles of wine a day between 5pm and 10pm. Still somehow managing work the next day at 8am.
In the meantime I've had spells of a month off here, three weeks there, but every time it was all about purging to get myself back into shape for the next session.
I've come back as I just had a six day bender that reminded me of my old ways. What was the most galling was I was out with lots of friends on the sixth day and must have looked terrible and barely even wanted to be there - just drink (which it gave me an excuse to do), and yet I won't see them for six months.
So now I have a few weeks of returning to eating healthily, getting to the gym, undoing all the damage that bender did but still knowing I'm going to do it all again at the start of October. I time all my benders now so they don't impact on work in terms of hangovers/withdrawal.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has/had this sort of drinking - several day benders followed by a couple of weeks off. I'm not sure myself even yet if it's somthing I want to change - I feel going to the gym and eating healthily loses its allure a couple of weeks after the bender, and then it's back to square one. A lot of my drinking goes on because I find it very hard to socialise and make friends without it. I think one of the problems a lot of us get is our social circle becomes dominated by drinkers, so you have to become a loner initially while also fighting the disease?
Sorry, a bit of a ramble..
In the meantime I've had spells of a month off here, three weeks there, but every time it was all about purging to get myself back into shape for the next session.
I've come back as I just had a six day bender that reminded me of my old ways. What was the most galling was I was out with lots of friends on the sixth day and must have looked terrible and barely even wanted to be there - just drink (which it gave me an excuse to do), and yet I won't see them for six months.
So now I have a few weeks of returning to eating healthily, getting to the gym, undoing all the damage that bender did but still knowing I'm going to do it all again at the start of October. I time all my benders now so they don't impact on work in terms of hangovers/withdrawal.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has/had this sort of drinking - several day benders followed by a couple of weeks off. I'm not sure myself even yet if it's somthing I want to change - I feel going to the gym and eating healthily loses its allure a couple of weeks after the bender, and then it's back to square one. A lot of my drinking goes on because I find it very hard to socialise and make friends without it. I think one of the problems a lot of us get is our social circle becomes dominated by drinkers, so you have to become a loner initially while also fighting the disease?
Sorry, a bit of a ramble..
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Welcome back Nettaja. You might want to post this in Newcomer's, you'll probably get a little more feedback there but it's appropriate here too.
I was mostly a daily drinker for my 27 year run, but on occassion I'd try to moderate with a week or two off here or there. "Periodic" or "binge" drinking never worked all that well for me, I found I was planning my next drunk and counting the days until it arrived. Being that alcoholism is progressive, I'd get back to drinking and attack it with a vengeance, there never seemed to be enough.
It's either all or nothing for me, there is no in-between, I only had to hit bottom once to choose nothing. I can't drink alcohol safely again, no matter what, so I've chosen 100% abstinence, AA, and the 12 Steps.
I was mostly a daily drinker for my 27 year run, but on occassion I'd try to moderate with a week or two off here or there. "Periodic" or "binge" drinking never worked all that well for me, I found I was planning my next drunk and counting the days until it arrived. Being that alcoholism is progressive, I'd get back to drinking and attack it with a vengeance, there never seemed to be enough.
It's either all or nothing for me, there is no in-between, I only had to hit bottom once to choose nothing. I can't drink alcohol safely again, no matter what, so I've chosen 100% abstinence, AA, and the 12 Steps.
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
I used to be able to binge and pretty much keep it to weekends. But you know, the binges just kind of joined themselves together and the last years I was a good steady daily drinker. Couldn't get 24 hours sobriety!
I can completely relate to being shy and needing alcohol to socialise. But you don't have to become a loner to get sober. It's only since I've cleaned up that I've realised how isolated I made myself over the years. And I've met the most amazing people in AA, non-judgemental, accepting.
I can completely relate to being shy and needing alcohol to socialise. But you don't have to become a loner to get sober. It's only since I've cleaned up that I've realised how isolated I made myself over the years. And I've met the most amazing people in AA, non-judgemental, accepting.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back.....
When I was an active alcoholic ...all my friends drank excessively.
As an acive AA recovered alcoholic...all my friends abstain.
I really perfer the sober social life.....
Hope you find a way to quit putting
a toxic liquid into your brain and body.
When I was an active alcoholic ...all my friends drank excessively.
As an acive AA recovered alcoholic...all my friends abstain.
I really perfer the sober social life.....
Hope you find a way to quit putting
a toxic liquid into your brain and body.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
Like others have said I have tried that route. But eventually my bindges would run together. And no matter how much you exercise and eat right a couple weeks is not enough to negate the damage your body encounters... As others have said AA is a great way to avoid being a loner in sobriety.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
welcome back Nettaja
Like some others here I started as a binger....but my binges got longer and longer, and the times between my binges got less and less...so I ended up a daily drinker....
when I did take 'time off' (cos I'd get sick) I'd go to the opposite extreme... I'd eat right, preparing carefully and minutely balanced health conscious menus, I'd exercise to exhaustion, and I'd take handfuls of vitamins and drink gallons of fruit juice...until I got to the point I felt 'well' enough to go back to drinking....
Madness. I'm glad that's over
There's no need to be a loner in recovery - you may have to leave some drinking buddies behind, sure, but we're here online, and there's many many face to face support programmes out there in the real world too. Noone needs to be alone in this.
D
Like some others here I started as a binger....but my binges got longer and longer, and the times between my binges got less and less...so I ended up a daily drinker....
when I did take 'time off' (cos I'd get sick) I'd go to the opposite extreme... I'd eat right, preparing carefully and minutely balanced health conscious menus, I'd exercise to exhaustion, and I'd take handfuls of vitamins and drink gallons of fruit juice...until I got to the point I felt 'well' enough to go back to drinking....
Madness. I'm glad that's over
There's no need to be a loner in recovery - you may have to leave some drinking buddies behind, sure, but we're here online, and there's many many face to face support programmes out there in the real world too. Noone needs to be alone in this.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Welcome back Nettaja, I can relate to your story very well. My binging & the effects it had on me just got worse & worse over time. I cant have a few, its all or nothing & all is too much for me now.
Dont think that things are ok for your body because you take a break. Binging is very tough on your system because of the shock factor.
You soon know who your true friends are & who your drinking buddies are once you start sharing that you are giving up the drink. I hope you find a path that works for you.
All of the best,
NB
Dont think that things are ok for your body because you take a break. Binging is very tough on your system because of the shock factor.
You soon know who your true friends are & who your drinking buddies are once you start sharing that you are giving up the drink. I hope you find a path that works for you.
All of the best,
NB
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi, yes I can relate really well to the binging and purging as you put it, quite similar in many ways.
I have had to choose total abstinance because I cannot drink moderately at all, I will always drink to blackout when I start and when I was drinking I would carry on for at least 2/3 solid days continuosuly and thus was bed-ridden for at least a whole day after.
If I was to take a drink then I could kiss goodbye to any good things which I now have in my life ie- job, car, self-esteem, respect of family, Home etc as nothing else would matter and I would inevitably go on a massive bender and be back to square one all over again. NO THANKS.
The peace and serenity I get from all the benfits of not feeding my alcoholism is better than the fleeting high from drink.
I have had to choose total abstinance because I cannot drink moderately at all, I will always drink to blackout when I start and when I was drinking I would carry on for at least 2/3 solid days continuosuly and thus was bed-ridden for at least a whole day after.
If I was to take a drink then I could kiss goodbye to any good things which I now have in my life ie- job, car, self-esteem, respect of family, Home etc as nothing else would matter and I would inevitably go on a massive bender and be back to square one all over again. NO THANKS.
The peace and serenity I get from all the benfits of not feeding my alcoholism is better than the fleeting high from drink.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
social circle...."becomes dominated by drinkers"
We enable them and they enable us. It all adds up to a lemming effect where everyone enables a vicious cycle of rationalization. Humbly on Day 43. Have headache.
Party Stober!!!
We enable them and they enable us. It all adds up to a lemming effect where everyone enables a vicious cycle of rationalization. Humbly on Day 43. Have headache.
Party Stober!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 257
Originally Posted by Nettaja 
A lot of my drinking goes on because I find it very hard to socialise and make friends without it. I think one of the problems a lot of us get is our social circle becomes dominated by drinkers, so you have to become a loner initially while also fighting the disease?
Sorry, a bit of a ramble..
Sorry, a bit of a ramble..
I am 82 days sober today. I felt really awkward socializing without alcohol at first. Honestly, I was dealing with so much physically and emotionally at first that I preferred to stay away from everybody. Emotionally there wasn't any drama, I was just on a big unprovoked emotional roller coaster for a while. So, yes, I was a loner for the first 2 months (by choice). I used this time to get myself together, figure out what I was going to do with myself, and develop some new habits.
I am now seeing things much clearer. I have slowly reintroduced myself to socializing without alcohol. I choose social functions that are not centered around alcohol (dinners, shopping, etc.).
This is a long, slow process and I feel like I have just started, but my drinking days also seem far behind.
Best Wishes!
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