Originally Posted by
rochadad 
...but its scary seen so many relapses while in the program. if one has a sponsor and working the steps, why would there be a relapse?
It is scary. Sort of tells me how daunting this alcoholism thing is. And how lucky we few are. The vast majority of real alcoholics will never find recovery. That's just the facts. If I don't want to be one of them, I better work at my recovery like my life depends on it.
In my experience, I've seen hundreds of folks get and stay sober without relapsing by thoroughly taking AA's steps. I've seen thousands more who are 'in AA' relapse over and over or just disappear.
In my experience, there is a huge difference between thoroughly taking AA's steps and being in AA. It's the difference between AA and group therapy, between night and day, between recovery and relapse, and between a spiritual awakening or white knuckling.
I have seen a fair number of guys have a drinking spree while thoroughly taking the steps. By all observation, they seem to be doing things thoroughly and still go on a few day bender. These examples are rare, though. That just tells me that alcoholism is a real serious deal. It also tells me that a spiritual awakening doesn't come from getting a step or two complete. The 10th step promises are placed at step 10 for a reason. You don't get those by working step 4.
Nine times out of ten, that relapse coincides with someone who has stalled in their progress in the steps. They just get stuck on something, entertain some reservations, and try to get through it on their own.
Even including those people who try the drinking experiment once more at some point while taking the steps, I have never seen someone relapse who thoroughly works the steps and lives by the principles. I just haven't seen it. Everybody I know that has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps has stayed sober. I know a lot of alkies, and that's a lot of years of cummulative sobriety.