Welcome! I can relate a LOT to your post. For me my life, while fun sometimes, was just NOT fulfilling in the way I wanted it to be. I felt like there was something more out there that until I quit drinking I was not going to know what "it" was.
I knew what the other option was...I have been doing it for 15 years...I know what my life would look like that way.
Good luck with whatever you decide!