Hi Katy
Welcome to SR
NB is right - this is a great place for support.
We all did things we're not proud of in the past Katy - but I think what's done is done...the only day we can affect is today, so the important thing is what we do right now - so I'm glad you're back with your mom and going to a meeting.
There's time enough for amends later - the focus needs to be on you now, and getting well....there's a lot of people here who'll gladly share their experience with you, and make sure you dont have to do it alone
hope to see you some more
D