Lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6
Lost
so a lot has been going on in my life lately. I come to grips with my addictions and its harder then I thought. I went to treatment about a year ago - I did everything I was supposed to do but I didn’t put my heart into it. ( hope that makes sense) as soon as I got out of treatment I started dating/living with a guy I met in treatment ( bad idea... ) we thought we could keep each other clean. no surprise that we were using in less then 2 weeks. we both feel deep into our addiction - but always joked that it was ok because we were the "cute junkie couple" looking back I see how sick that was. He was in and out of jail all the time and while he was locked up I cheated on him constantly. I didn’t think anything of it because it was "just sex" long story short I told him it was only once and lied about the rest. now 4 days ago I finally left him, moved 4 hours away back with my mom trying to get and stay clean for good. when he called last night and asked again about what really happen I confessed about everything. the pain I caused him is unreal. I can’t stop crying and all I was is a fix. so im going to a meeting tonight...my first one in a year and im terrified. I feel so ashamed about the things I have done. I want to move on in my life and get healthy but I can’t stop thinking about the pain I have caused my ex. I know it’s not healthy to dwell on it but I can’t help it. hopefully the meeting goes good...im nervous and scared to go though. sorry for rambling...just had to get it off my chest.
Darling,
I'm really sorry for whats happening right now, but its honestly for the best. You & I both know living with your ex was a really bad idea & it brought back a lot of bad habits, but now you need to concentrate on yourself & your recovery, not how you made him feel. Using makes us do things we wouldn't even dream of sober. Its OK, he will get over it & so will you, you really need to work on yourself right now angel.
Welcome to SR
Love,
MK
I'm really sorry for whats happening right now, but its honestly for the best. You & I both know living with your ex was a really bad idea & it brought back a lot of bad habits, but now you need to concentrate on yourself & your recovery, not how you made him feel. Using makes us do things we wouldn't even dream of sober. Its OK, he will get over it & so will you, you really need to work on yourself right now angel.
Welcome to SR
Love,
MK
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome to SR, Katy. Stay around some, you will find a lot of support. Don't worry about rambling, that's what we do around these here parts... and help each other out as best we can.
Hi Katy
Welcome to SR
NB is right - this is a great place for support.
We all did things we're not proud of in the past Katy - but I think what's done is done...the only day we can affect is today, so the important thing is what we do right now - so I'm glad you're back with your mom and going to a meeting.
There's time enough for amends later - the focus needs to be on you now, and getting well....there's a lot of people here who'll gladly share their experience with you, and make sure you dont have to do it alone
hope to see you some more
D
Welcome to SR
NB is right - this is a great place for support.
We all did things we're not proud of in the past Katy - but I think what's done is done...the only day we can affect is today, so the important thing is what we do right now - so I'm glad you're back with your mom and going to a meeting.
There's time enough for amends later - the focus needs to be on you now, and getting well....there's a lot of people here who'll gladly share their experience with you, and make sure you dont have to do it alone
hope to see you some more
D
Katy,
SoOo sorry things are rough. I did a lot of things ,while using, that I am not proud of. I think we all have. And I believe we have all caused our fair share of hurt and made the people in our lives suffer. That isn´t meant to gloss over the fact that what we did was wrong, but I agree with the others, its time to begin to work in earnest on what you started a year ago. This time with renewed vigor and with a new outlook. I only say this because I am just about where you are now, I am not worrying about my amends right now, I am just getting clean. EVerything else will fall in place and soon I will be able to make amends the way they should be made. It´s your time now. I wish you luck. Be strong, and keep coming to the forums
Chris
SoOo sorry things are rough. I did a lot of things ,while using, that I am not proud of. I think we all have. And I believe we have all caused our fair share of hurt and made the people in our lives suffer. That isn´t meant to gloss over the fact that what we did was wrong, but I agree with the others, its time to begin to work in earnest on what you started a year ago. This time with renewed vigor and with a new outlook. I only say this because I am just about where you are now, I am not worrying about my amends right now, I am just getting clean. EVerything else will fall in place and soon I will be able to make amends the way they should be made. It´s your time now. I wish you luck. Be strong, and keep coming to the forums
Chris
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