I know the steps by heart, but can't seem to work them right
Knowing them by heart and taking them into your heart are different.. I know... you know that.... So how can you get it from your head to your heart?
Have you come to believe that your Higher Power can restore you to sanity? Really, truly... If not, maybe you should look at that some more... with a sponsor... or, meditation, prayer.... focus on that, just that.....
Sorry to see you struggling so much there firestorm... I
am glad to see you back here though.
Mark