Weasel4IR

Hi all,
Last night I think Hell made it into my home! My husband decided not to take his meds because he did not like the way they make him feel and OMG what a night we had. He got a bullet out and was strongly thinking about just ending it all, then he came at me out of nowhere. It was really wierd the night started off pretty good then just went downhill from there.

I am so lost in all of this and confused, he tells me all I do is complain about my ailments going on with myself. They are not my fault and I don't mean to do it but I guess in his mind I do. Now his daughter has a different outlook on that situation, I have listened to him about his past childhood and his exwife for a good 7 years now mostly on a daily basis.

Is it so wrong to think I had someone I could talk to, my husband who I thought I could spill anything to and not be judged! Well I guess I was wrong, I am so close to just shutting down completly it is scaring me. I told him to go and get somebody younger that does not have any problems and he said I might just take you up on that offer, what's that all about? Does a person just give up because it gets a little rough with there partner?

I am going to go over to the clinic and try to get accepted as a new patient today, they have a form that has to be filled out to see if you really need to talk to someone. I am having thoughts of just driving my Jeep off the nearest bridge I can find, I can't take this anymore. Somedays are okay and others OMG why and how did we get here anyway!!

I am so sad right now, and he just got up this morning like nothing happenend last night, right before he left he told me to have a good day! I have to ask myself is there such a thing anymore "a good day" hmmm let me think about that. I actually had an awesome day at work but then I come home and whamo good feeling gone!

Thanks for listening to me babble once again, love you all!

Hugs from Weasel :cries2: