I hope you dont mind me responding to this as im supposed to be on family and friends. But i have to say that i believe my STBEXAH is on the dark side. We were together 7 years, married 6, he has another ex wife and ex partner and 3 children and then me and a dog (lovely puppy we bought together last year and who means i cant work full time now - ive overcome that though). He left in january to sort out our pension, a property left by his mother in the west indies, grand turk, he rang to tell me he wasnt coming back, he is an alcoholic and nothing will change that (he went to AA from Jan to jiune last year and to be honest the downhill slide was worse than ever before when he left) does anyone know about this? Anyway, he now lives on a tiny island (I know it and spent time there), There is nothing to do but drink,everyone there drinks, he wouldnt go and live there because of it with me( probably because i would have been a problem) but i didnt know that at the time...He left his 3 children, one of whom spent every 2nd weekend with us for 6 years and for whom our home was her sanctuary (his words). She is only 11 and he left her, and her sister and brother (more independent) and just went to live on this island.....I found out he was far from my loyal loving husband, he was my greatest detractor, if i wanted an enemy he was it....it came as a big shock as i wa always loyal to him and even now, i miss him although ive turned my life around so much in 7 months...He now has argentinian pole dancers as friends and he seems to just be happy with people who are transient...he is an intelligent man, i find it hard to believe he doesnt realise the dark place he is in at 43 years old having drunk heavily since 14, i know he was an alcoholic when i met him "I saved him from financial disaster" so i found out in something i read, was that all i was....anyway..how many people do you have to leave and let down before you get to that dark place...i ask this question as one who sometimes lets that dark place touch me...just not often anymore...thank you for your responses if it is appropriate... Lillyxx