I can understand so completely the views on going to AA, and I should not worry about who sees me there. I wasn't entirely clear before. Certain people in certain circles think of me as a "boozehound" or at least someone who really likes red wine. I am not joking when I say going to AA could really be a detriment to my career. Part of it is also that I'm really not comfortable talking openly about this with anyone. I was in counselling a while back and hardly could discuss it with my therapist. Maybe when I become more comfortable with the person I am I will feel differently. I'm just not ready right now. That being said, about 13 years ago I did go to a few AA meetings. I did not have the job I do now and I was with an abusive man at the time. After a night of drinking I knew the next day I would be in for it with him so I called AA so that he would see I was trying to get help. I did go to about two or three meetings. This was quite a while ago and I wasn't at the stage I am now with my drinking so I may feel differently, but I did not feel I got much from them then. I am grateful that I found this site though, because it is nice to see that I have support. I'm scared about what the next few days will bring. I always cave in on my alcohol addiction between day 5-7 (if not sooner). I know that reading these posts and learning more is helping me. At this point I have to say that I find every day life mundane and I do not enjoy sobriety. I can only hope that will change. I read another post tonight about someone who said something about the excitement they feel before they drink. I can relate to that feeling, but also relate to the response that the excitement is short-lived. What a twisted cycle! Thanks for letting me ramble on.