Sorry, the above post with the raincloud me was a thank you to TC. CNMC2C your post has just hit home to me that I am looking back with rose tinted specs. I do remember saying to him on numerous occasions (Not during rows as there weren't really any, but during his stubborn times or drinking bouts... ) how **** stuck you for 10 years I'll never know. In the very early days of the relationship with me - when he was still depressed over him and her he would often disappear for days - once three weeks - he'd finish with me over and over again, etc. But in the last two years he changed and settled down. The only thing the drinking wouldn't stop. So I know I do need to stop looking back and thinking we could have been happy. I truly was happy when I was with him, but as I pointed out, I never lived with him. I lived 30 miles away. When I would go and stay with him we could easily be on our own for five days and nights then we were both screaming to get away from each other. But time apart or no time apart, after nine days and nights I couldn't wait to get back home. And that was after three years together. So who knows how long living together would have lasted.
I guess we'll never know now.
Thank you everyone. I was so down earlier with my 'why aren't I good enough' frame of mind. But you have all cheered me up and helped me realise he's the one who's losing out. I said before, truly wonderful people.
CNMC2C - here's your smiley
