TakingCharge999

sclarke:

:sorry you are going through this

it is a lie others will get the "good" him

he did not instantaneously turned into this great person just because he was able to get a job!

he did not instantaneously turned into this great person just because you are not there seeing his continued drinking, abuse and manipulation.

i agree with the above poster, if anything, a job allows you to buy more expensive bottles and drugs.

nothing has changed, dear sclarke.

i went on for months thinking ex was now this great person i knew and torturing myself thinking another woman was enjoying him.

i suffered a lot and it is a lie.

of course he is going to appear nice, smiley, etc., i do not think he would be very appealing saying 'hi, im a jobless guy in early/middle/end stage alcoholism, on the rebound, need sex and attention, care to give me some"

nothing has changed. he is still the same person capable of doing all the things that hurt you before. and more.

the hurt you have felt for him is nothing compared to what he can do. physical abuse, permanent physical damage, if you've had kids, causing accidents in the road. death. you got to trust God/HP on this one.

what he has done, does and will do has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

i hope you stop carrying stuff that is not yours. i hope you yourself have reached your own bottom and realize life was not given to you to live in pain for a problem that is not even yours.

lately i have reached the conclusion, if a person doesnt mind ruining his life, who am i to think he is worth more the life he chooses for himself?

having a job does not mean sobriety much less recovery.

if they dont care at all about themselves and their fate... why should we care?

if they want to die a slow horrible death, so be it... :wtf2, HTF does it affect ME? just as they have no problem finding whatever they need, we dont need them either (unless we are looking for pain)

if they keep drinking and that is the life they wish and fulfills them.. .by all means get someone else to absorb all the pain for you, not me anymore.

who am i to "force" someone to be healthy, it just dawned on me how ridiculous it is to try to save someone from himself. going with someone else right away, what does that tell you about how ready your ex is to spend 5 minutes with himself and actually learn something? he did not find a girlfriend but an enabler.

this was said before: alcoholics dont have partners, they have hostages.

i am not god and ex is not my puppet. i dont control alcoholism or anyone else....

we were made for so much more than this sick, self-inflicted slavery and torture.

sorry, i went a little bit overboard........ just throwing my ideas without much structure.

PM me if you wish, I am not very wise but I am a good listener.

HUGS!