Daisywings,
I want to tell U what most have mentioned, U will recover and heal after this, if U quit now!
As an RN who has worked ER, this is nothing for our staff to see on a given week, at lease 1-2/wk. With each drinking episode after this, the bleed is worst. These varices are, swollen, irratated, and imflamed. I could not tell U how many transfusions that I have administered in a given week related to these cases, along with hanging as we call banana bags. ( 9% saline, Multiply vitamins, and folate, that turns the fluid yellow)
U can correct this, they will heal, the liver will heal and so will U. Start today.
Stay strong.