Hi Ellie,
Your post is very close to where I was when I quit drinking. I was 48 & sick of living the way I was. I was a single Mom with one of my five children still home. I was drinking every night after work & all day on the weekends.
I had a low-income job with no benefits + a good child support so we were making it with me drinking at home.
I wasn't even able to crawl to bed on my last drunk...I had to be put on a sleeping bag & dragged to bed by my daughter & now husband. This was on the 4th of July & by the 10th of July I was in the hospital getting a medical detox.
I had gone to Mental Health to get an appointment for help with my depression, anxiety, & drinking that next week. This was 21 years ago & I am still sober & still take medication for my chemically imbalanced depression which I have had since a teen.
I have many life experiences that made me think I deserved to drink to drown my sorrow but that only made my depression & alcoholism worse.
I wanted to quit drinking more than anything in my life so I stuck with the AA Program, my counseling for Depression/Anxiety & a different Group Counselor for my Alcoholism. I live in a small rural area & some of us did know each other. One of our Judges for court is in AA, also another Judges wife is in AA. As they say, alcoholism doesn't care if you are rich, poor, black or white..it is not choosy about who follows this path. :day6
Please keep coming back. We have lots of our own experience, strength & hope to share with you.
kelsh