OK. Read and understood. I thank y'all.
Dee, um, at first I hated what you posted, until I got to thinking on it. And the bourbon's gone now, swirled down the drain. Northern hemisphere-style. This is the second time you've 'made' me pour liquor down the drain. You're good for me in ways I can't understand yet.
So here's the plan: I'm going to call that lady from AA and confess to her that I need to go to a meeting, and follow through on it. And I'm going to work on getting into grad school, even though I have no clue what I'm dealing with. It'll occupy my mind, to say the least. And I gotta have a positive attitude: technically, I have not failed at it, 'cause I've never tried it.
Gotta keep moving forward, no wallowing in self-pity or whatever the h- I'm doing. Somehow, some way, this has to work for me. I ain't never failed at nothing else I ever tried... d- if I'm gonna let this be the first.
But, man, it's hard.
Thank y'all for not dismissing me, like most everybody 'round here (ie, real world), and trust, I am listening. It's not like me to be the victim. Pride has me locked into a position where I don't even like to admit what's going on with me, and, honestly, if this wasn't the type of forum where I get to hide my 'identity,' I don't know where I'd be. I feel, rationally or not, that I should have 'gotten' it by now, and am not comfortable with the fact that I'm still in the position I am.