My expectations are pretty low, actually. I don't expect her to change because she CAN'T, or at least won't. I would love it if we could at least try to forge some sort of mutually respectful relationship that's free of this drama, but I'm skeptical she will ever be at that point. She's lived with this for so long, I believe she knows no other way.
About the best I can hope for realistically, I think, is that our relationship will remain decent enough on the surface but strained in reality, as I'm not going to be a willing participant in the crazy-making. I do expect her to ask for money again, and I'm going to say no -- assuming I'm able to stay strong, which I plan to. This may or may not lead to an even bigger blowup.
It might actually lead to my cutting her out of my life. I'm not ready to cross that bridge yet but I'm well aware that it might come to that.