I emailed my attorney all of this. He said that because it is a divorce there is an issue of he said, she said and to get DS to the therapist right away. Anything I say is just hearsay. Anything DS says to his therapist can be reported to the court instantly so action can be taken.
I am not delusional about him--that is why I left and stayed in a hotel and with my sister. I did not want to go into the house if he was there. When we moved back into the house after he left I put those slider locks that you put on the top of the door (they are more safety latches so kids cannot open the door from inside). You can't open the door from outside either.
He has been fine with the kids when he is alone with them--that is what DS is saying. He said it is only when he is with his family that the problems are there. Of course he does not have a place to live yet so he cannot have overnight visitation unless he does. The Family Commissioner ordered that.
He sometimes does not want to talk about these hard things with the therapist and we need to be careful not to lead him and allow him to just say what happened without insinuating something happened. Stupid--yes. But I was a criminal investigator for 12 years and I know the laws and the courts. In divorce situations they always think one spouse is trying to trash the other--regardless of whether it is the truth. It is their knee jerk reaction.
I am keeping my kids safe. They are with me this weekend and AH never keeps them overnight during the week.
I know now for a fact I will never let him take the kids a day early like I did last week. But I thought it would be OK because from all my encounters with is sister ande BIL they are honest, nice people. I forgot that his sister took care of him until he was 8 years old because his mother was never around--rich girl off playing with her girl pals. So she has a mothering instince for AH I think. It took every ounce of sanity to not call her on Sunday and scream at her. I need to stay calm. I need to be the one who is handling this the proper way through the legal system. I know how it works and yes, this is blantant abuse. But coming from me, the wife divorcing her husband, it will not mean anything. Coming from the therapist it can and will be used to determine how visitation occurs.