Warren ... I'm glad you're OK.
As I have mentioned in a previous post, I have discussed the prospect of drinking with my therapist. Not in an asking permission sort of way, but more in a way that if I drank too much because of what was wrong with me mentally, can people go back to drinking if they treat the root cause.
I do miss the romantic aspects of drinking, the most excellent Scotches and experimenting in the wine department trying to find the perfect under $10 wine and then playing the same game under $20. These were my previous drinking hobbies, they tended to be the activities I did that did lead to responsible drinking.
But now I feel like a dog that runs in a yard with an electric fence. I just can't seem to get beyond that fence. My mind reminds me of this year spent hangover free, and how my LOVE FOR MYSELF seems to have grown beyond belief.
To me it is as though I have left behind a character flaw, such as I suddenly quit being a liar.
Quietly, inside I no longer feel a sense of weakness because I fear being too drunk, but now I find myself having some odd sense of superiority over those who do. I don't ever vocalize these thoughts, but I suspect they are just coping mechanisms.
Yes, I am taking your experience and plugging it into my personal computer and reaffirming my thoughts on "slipping" for myself.
My best days are the days when I don't think about drinking at all. I like it when I don't have the internal discussions on whether I could have a red wine with this meal.
Life always seems better when I don't have to stand guard outside my mind's door that leads to my happiness.