AH and his family are being verbally abusive to older DS
AH had overnight visitation for the first time this weekend and took the kids to his sister's house on what was supposed to be a mini-vacation because they live on a lake.
Someone called me from AH’s cell on Saturday night. I tried to call back but got the number not in service message. 2nd call and I got voice mail and I asked ah to please call. No one called me back.
When they got home Sunday I could tell something happened. I asked about the phone call but DS kept saying in this non-chalant (and what sounded like rehearsed) voice that he could not call because there was no service. I asked if he tried to call from his aunt’s other phone (land line) and he said nothing. Then AH said they had worn out their welcome.
After AH left DS told me his dad bought a 12 pack as soon as they got there and drank 5 beers Sat. afternoon (DS always counts everyone’s alcohol consumption). He told me Sat. night AH thought he was being annoying and started to chase him, grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and dragged him, tried to punch him and hit him with a baseball cap but missed. Now DS starts to cry and says he tried to call me but they took the phone away and his aunt would not let him call me on the other phone. DS has RAD and PTSD and he does things that are provocative—but you have to ignore it. It is just testing—will you still love me if I (fill in the blank). AH cannot ignore it.
DS called his dad an alcoholic and then his aunt went off on him and said really mean things to him (he said he could not remember—he just remembers being really afraid and that they would not let him call me) and told him his dad is not an alcoholic. No one in AH’s family knows what to do when DS goes into a rage—including AH because—well, he just never bothered to learn. So here is an 8-year-old boy who has gone into a rage and panic attack and is surrounded by adults who are scaring him even more and won’t let him talk to the one person who he knows can calm him down and make him feel safe-me.
Things did calm down after a long time, but then the aunt tells DS not to say anything to me about his dad being mean to him over the weekend. DS was sobbing through the whole thing and begging me to never have to be with AH when he is with his family again. I think other visits with AH have gone fine but he had not kept the kids overnight. Also, Ah and his family feed off each other so when he is around them they enable him to the fullest. Also, the BIL tells DS that AH only drinks 2 beers a day and that is healthy. . .wrong and wrong.
These people are insane and my kids are forced to be with them. Also wrong, wrong, wrong.