I really should be past trying to understand why my mother does anything, but I can't help but wonder what she is up to now.
Recap: She asked for money (a continuing pattern while she continues to make bad choices). I said no this time. She went crazy. I ignored the onslaught of guilt. She then told me she wasn't angry. Then sent a cool reply to an e-mail. Then we didn't speak for about a week and a half ... a long time when you are this enmeshed (which of course I'm working on).
So then I get an email saying, "are you speaking to me?" I said yes, mother, I was never NOT speaking to you. Have sent her a couple of e-mails that she hasn't really responded to. Also called her and left a vm. No call back.
She sent me a note with some other stuff (I had ordered), got it yesterday. She says, "I love you and I still want to be part of your life." Figured I wouldn't respond since we had made contact since she sent it, but sent her an e-mail telling her I got the stuff, thanks, love you too.
She replies, "You didn't say anything about the note, do you still want to be a part of my life? Or do you not need me in your life anymore?"
I replied, why on earth do you think that? No response.
W-T-F? I'm still trying to figure out what's up here. Is she trying to make me feel guilty? I think she is. But I don't, and I'm not going to continue to run after her to reassure her that I still want her in my life. Still trying to figure out what I did to make her think that .... but you know what, it was probably nothing, wasn't it? I just don't know what she is cooking up now. Thoughts?
