Hey Darren, welcome to SR. As Mark asked "do you have a program of recovery?" Believe me I had many, many failed attemps at sobriey by going it alone. This place is great and can help a lot but it cannot take the place of being around others that can totally relate to your situation. Don't make the same mistake I made over and over thinking that there is an easier softer way only to end up right back where you left off.